Characters: Dr. Paul Porter, Principal Investigator
Sherman Ebberson, Doctoral Candidate
EXTERIOR, DAY. ROOF OF THE PHYSICS BUILDING
Dr. Porter is calibrating a magnotomerter with the aid of a laptop computer. Sherman comes through the stairwell door, a bit winded.
SHERMAN
Dr. Porter? Dr. Porter?
PORTER
I'm over here, Sherman .
SHERMAN
What are you doing up here ?
PORTER
I'm checking the machine.
SHERMAN
Is there a problem?
PORTER
Yes, there's a problem. What do you need?
SHERMAN
Fran is sending the final report to photocopy; she wants to know what kind of binding you want to use.
PORTER
Let's hold off on the binding, shall we?
SHERMAN
Oh, there really is a problem. Isn't there?
PORTER
Sherman, you did an excellent job proofing and checking the report. The inconsistency in the lambda variable that you cleverly pointed out, however, was not due to sunspots (as you speculated) but due to the fact that the machine was off.
SHERMAN
How could it be off? We checked it every six months.
PORTER
It's supposed to be checked every six months. The protocol says it's checked every six months, but in fact it hasn't been recalibrated in over a year.
SHERMAN
They screwed up?
PORTER
I screwed up. The vendor's maintenance people missed a cycle, but I should've caught it.
SHERMAN
Wow.
PORTER
As you put it, “wow.”
SHERMAN
What are we gonna do?
PORTER
I appreciate the “we”, Sherman. The “we” is very sweet. What I am going to do is tell the sponsoring agency that I screwed up and the report will be delayed 6 months to a year.
SHERMAN
You're going to repeat the experiment?
PORTER
I don't see any alternative.
SHERMAN
But Dr. Porter, the lambda variable is just a control, it doesn't call into question the main findings or the interpretation. Chances are that changes in magnetic flux have nothing to do with the what we're actually studying.
PORTER
But the protocol says we have to check it.
SHERMAN
But it was our idea to check it. I mean, we threw in magnetic flux, for like, good measure.
PORTER
But, if we don't check it, or check it with faulty instruments, it's a violation of the protocol.
SHERMAN
So it's, like, a credibility issue.
PORTER
It's, like, a credibility issue big time.
SHERMAN
They're not going to like us missing the deadline.
PORTER
What would you do? Submit the report as written?
SHERMAN
Well…
(Reaction shot, Porter.)
SHERMAN
Noooo. I don't know. ( Pause ) Maybe we could write an addendum? Explain the error and why it's not really that important. ( Pause .) I know it's gonna look stupid…
PORTER
Sherman, at this point, looking stupid is the least of our problems. |